‘My sister ruined my wedding – now my parents expect me to pay for her therapy’
It’s no secret that families can be messy and complicated sometimes – with secrets, feuds and all sorts of drama.
One woman has claimed to know only too well what it’s like to deal with all of this, sharing her own complicated family story.
The unnamed woman revealed all in a letter to an agony aunt after her sister’s behaviour became too much for her to handle.
Writing to Slate.com’s Dear Prudence column, the woman explained how her sister had been causing issues in her life for a few years – starting by ruining her wedding.
The letter tells how both siblings got engaged in the same year, but her sister’s wedding got called off after she was caught cheating – she then lost her job, as her boss had been her fiance’s mother.
“I lost what little sympathy I had because of her behaviour when she got even a whiff about my wedding plans—scoffing, sighing, sniggering, and slamming doors. Everyone expected me to walk on eggshells around her, but her behaviour went on for months and months.
“At my wedding, she got drunk and made a huge scene where she insinuated my husband and his best female friend were secretly s*ing around. She had to be escorted out. Her apology to me was that she was sorry she had too much to drink. I told her I didn’t want her in my life until she got professional help. She called me a smug bh.”
She continues to say that since then she hasn’t spoken to her sister for three years and her behaviour hasn’t improved during that time.
She claims she’s been fired twice, been sued by her roommate for not paying rent and was caught shoplifting.
Instead of making her pay her dues, the woman claims their parents have been bailing her sister out – but they are running out of money.
They’ve now insisted their daughter has to go to therapy, but they are retired and don’t have the funds to cover it.
So they are expected their other child to pay for it.
She seems outraged by the idea, adding: “While my husband and I both work, we have college loans and a mortgage to think of. We aren’t exactly looking through the couch for loose change, but our savings are slim. My parents are guilting me—my sister is finally doing what I have always wanted and I can’t support her? She is sick and hurting, why can’t I support her?
“My husband thinks we should offer to pay for a session or two as a peace offering. I am tired of playing peacemaker; I did that for months and my sister ruined my wedding as a reward. My parents have spent thousands of dollars on my sister, I know they are tapped out.”
R. Eric Thomas offered some advice as Prudence, warning the sister that while her husband’s offer is kind, it’s also a “slippery slope”.
They replied: “I think it’s best to have a conversation with your parents about your boundaries with your sister. From what I’m reading, she still hasn’t fully apologized to you, nor has she actually asked you to pay for the therapy. The therapy is a stipulation from your parents, which is not to say it’s not a good idea, just that this isn’t an agreement you had any say in. Your parents can’t spend your money for you.”